It has been about a month and some days since I’ve been a disciple and a college student. Doing what college kids do, the studying (Bible and for tests), the sharing, ( The Word and homework help), and the participating (Church and . . . wait). Participating is where I hit my wall. How am I , an 18 year old college student , not participating ? I struggle with participating in college life while still holding to my Christian morals. Can I sit in a room with a ton of girls who are gossiping? Can I go out on the weekends but not drink? Can I be the “typical” college student while still being a Disciple. No. The simple answer is that I can’t because I’m not “typical” I’m a child of God but this does not mean I need to be tucked into bed at 6 pm on a Saturday night either. God wants us to enjoy life and rejoice in it but just not in those stereotypical college ways. I can be so easy (too easy) to fall into the trap of “It’s college, this is what you are supposed to be doing” mindset.
I use Saturday because Saturday is my worst day. The day I sit in my misery of loneliness and fear. Saturday is the night everyone goes out and embodies college. Me? I’m in my dorm room questioning why as a Christian I have to miss out, which is so dangerous. In the Bible, Saturday holds a significance too. Jesus died on Friday and rose on Sunday but what was everyone doing on Saturday? You guessed it.. waiting. Just waiting and questioning and praying and struggling, some more than others. Those Disciples had the same struggles that I do. That is something I find comforting and humbling.
My Church ministry does a phenomenal job of keeping us occupied a majority of the time, keeping us away from the temptations of college life but Saturday is up to me, so with that being said I need to make a promise to myself and God to utilize Saturday for something better. Use my alone time to pray, to connect with my fellow brothers and sisters, and to just reflect on the other activities I could be doing that do not involve temptations (board games, Disney movie marathon, catching up on homework). So, starting this Saturday, I am choosing to flourish in Saturday and to no longer sulk in the fear and doubts that Satan throughs at me. – AC