Well, a whole semester has come and gone. It feels as if yesterday I was moving my life, in orange rolly bins into a dorm room. I’ve survived classes, roommate battles, and borderline heinous dining hall food but so much more has happened in just this first semester. I have grown so much in ways I didn’t think I needed too but have led to such an amazing result within myself.
I have become so much more open-minded human being. Things I would’ve made fun of in high school, I took upon myself to become more educated on. I attended a Safe Zone Training course to learn more about the LGBTQ+ community so I , as a Christian, could better understand their needs and what I can do for them. My English professor made it pretty clear in the beginning of the semester that he was a liberal and a year ago I would’ve let everything he said to go in one ear and out the other but I opened my brain and heart and let his viewpoints sink in a little deeper than usual. He handed us articles on feminism, obesity, white privilege, and even police brutality and it just opened my eyes to the issues going on this world that is not being addressed in my white suburban neighborhood back in western Massachusetts. I watched minorities cry at the election of Trump, and my own roommates worrying about their futures and prosperities in America. These were things I have never had to worry about but now I was watching it happen right before my eyes. Open Mindedness has not always been a huge deal to me but was certainly something that needed more work.
Confidence. This is something I have struggled with for such a long time, especially due to my anxiety but college does things to people. I had to present in front of 80 people, give an expo in front of administration, I had a job interview, I gained an internship at the Springfield police department and I even went around my campus inviting random strangers to my campus Bible Talk. Things I couldn’t even have thought about doing in high school without having an anxiety attack. I gained friends from this newly discovered confidence. I have never had these many friends in my 18 years of life but let me tell you how good it feels, amazing. I truly am so blessed to be able to have this growth because I was so sick of being an extrovert in my brain and heart but having to be an introvert for the sake of everyone else. I am free to be me and I love it.
Lastly, I have learned so much about God. Learning that life is just a passing through and that everything I am doing here is about glorifying God. I try hard to do well but I do not beat myself up over a C because life is so much more than right now. I can enjoy these moments and soak it all up but not get caught up in it. I know that in 25 years those falls will just be a memory and that in heaven, my college degree is not coming with me. College is showing me that love is patient and kind ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-7). I see this when it comes to dealing with roommates or just needing patience when it actually comes to relationships. God is teaching me a lot about timing here. God is showing me that a boyfriend or job is not in my cards right now and I am surprisingly okay with that. God is showing me that is okay to care for yourself but to not forget about helping others. He is truly working through me and this campus.
This may only be my first semester here in West Haven CT but I have a plethora of new ideas and perspectives already. I am growing and maturing and becoming a human that this world needs. I am enjoying every single second here and I can not wait to see what the following semesters have to offer me. – Lex