Where I’ve Been

I have been really slacking in my blogging career these last few couple weeks and I’d just like to explain myself. This past month has been hectic and crazy. As a college student, I was in the midst of finals, moving out, moving back home, saying goodbye to my boyfriend, switching churches, my boyfriend visiting at home, and participating in a two-week social media cleanse. *sigh*. Okay. So, yeah that’s just the summary of everything I’ve been handling since May. Praise Jesus for my survival. This time off from writing was sad but needed. I needed time to focus on the important things in life and get through it, which just so happened to work because in this time I also accomplished a lot. I finished my freshman year of college with a 3.4 GPA, I started working again, I got to sightsee New England with my wonderful boyfriend. I got to throw my sister a birthday party, take my brothers to numerous soccer games and swim meets, and spend so much quality time with my grandparents. Life is too short to spend it behind a screen 24/7 but I’m back. I’m ready to write and I’m ready to use this platform as a source of the good news of Jesus Christ. New posts will be on MONDAYS, as I will be using Sunday as a day of worship and work. I appreciate every single one of you that continue to support me and read my work. I love you all endlessly. Keep me in your prayers and I’ll keep you in mine – Alexis

Week 11: List All The Ways You Can Rejuvenate Your Space

  • Paint some canvas art!
  • DIY some mason jars
  • Buy a cheap new comforter for your bed
  • Replace any dingy curtains
  • Frame some photos
  • Buy a new throw blanket and pillows
  • New Centerpiece

This post is way beyond late and I know it is incredibly short but this was a rather difficult prompt because I don’t have my own space. Feel free to comment your favorite ways to rejuvenate your space.

Aloha.

It has been on my heart to go on a mission trip for a very long time. I have found an opportunity to do mission work in Hawaii. I love traveling, serving, and meeting new people and this trip will provide me all of that. I am writing this to ask for your help! This trip cost money, money that a broke college student does not have. I need this trip and the people of Hawaii need this trip! I will be building homes, creating sustainable agriculture, and mentoring the homeless youth of Hawaii for ten days. I am not only asking for money but for prayers, support, love, and encouragement. This trip has the potential to be life changing and I want to be a part of it. I would love for this opportunity to become a reality and I need you to help me. Thank You! – Lex.

Here is my gofundme page! :       https://www.gofundme.com/qd-my-mission-tripgive-generously-to-them-and-do-so-without-a-grudging-heart-then-because-of-this-the-lord-your-god-will-bless-you-in-all-your-work-and-in-everything-you-put-your-hand-to

Giving Back

This year I made it my mission to only buy from charitable companies for Christmas gifts. This was rather difficult but so eye opening. Christmas is about giving back and spreading the love so why not do that for your loved ones and people across the globe at the same time? I have compiled a list of companies I have used and companies I have found that all give back when your purchase from them. I pray that you use these companies for holiday shopping and everyday needs.

  • TOMS – Donates a pair of shoes for every pair purchased
  • Krochet for Kids.- Knitted beanies that give jobs to women in Africa.
  • Smile Squared – Donates a toothbrush for every purchase (super cheap!)
  • Pura Vida – Makes bracelets from Costa Rica and donates to the charity correlating to the bracelet
  • Chavez for Charity – Cute bracelets that help the charity it belongs to when purchased
  • Love your Melon – Donates a beanie to a child battling cancer
  • The Little Market – Every item in this store gives back!
  • St. Jude – They have a nice online shop that gives back to the hospital
  • Amazon Smile – Shopping through Amazon Smile gives back with qualifying purchases to a charity of your choice
  • MAC Viva Glam Collection – Purchases from the Viva Glam collection give the proceeds to fight HIV/AIDS
  • The Body Shop “Honey Mania” – Their honey mania collection promotes fair trade.
  • Lizzie and Laura – Make bracelets that help artisans in Nepal
  • The Elephant Pants – Cute clothes! / Donates 10% to the International Elephant Foundation
  • Hand in Hand Soap – Buy a bar Give a bar
  • Kohls Cares – For just five dollars you can buy a stuffed animal or book that gives back to local communities
  • Yoobi – School supplies that give back to schools in need
  • World Play Project – Soccer balls that give a ball to a child in need.
  • 1Face Watches – Cute , inexpensive watches that give back to the charity of the month
  • Flex Watches – Donates to the charity related to that watch!
  • Project 7 Gums and Mints – Donates back to local and abroad communities

There are so much more amazing charitable companies but this should get the ball rolling for a lot of you. I encourage you all to shop charitable and help the world one purchase at a time. – Lex.

What My First Semester at College Taught Me

Well, a whole semester has come and gone. It feels as if yesterday I was moving my life, in orange rolly bins into a dorm room. I’ve survived classes, roommate battles, and borderline heinous dining hall food but so much more has happened in just this first semester. I have grown so much in ways I didn’t think I needed too but have led to such an amazing result within myself.

I have become so much more open-minded  human being. Things I would’ve made fun of in high school, I took upon myself to become more educated on. I attended a Safe Zone Training course to learn more about the LGBTQ+ community so I , as a Christian, could better understand their needs and what I can do for them. My English professor made it pretty clear in the beginning of the semester that he was a liberal and a year ago I would’ve let everything he said to go in one ear and out the other but I opened my brain and heart and let his viewpoints sink in a little deeper than usual. He handed us articles on feminism, obesity, white privilege, and even police brutality and it just opened my eyes to the issues going on this world that is not being addressed in my white suburban neighborhood back in western Massachusetts. I watched minorities cry at the election of Trump, and my own roommates worrying about their futures and prosperities in America. These were things I have never had to worry about but now I was watching it happen right before my eyes. Open Mindedness has not always been a huge deal to me but was certainly something that needed more work.

Confidence. This is something I have struggled with for such a long time, especially due to my anxiety but college does things to people. I had to present in front of 80 people, give an expo in front of administration, I had a job interview, I gained an internship at the Springfield police department and I even went around my campus inviting random strangers to my campus Bible Talk. Things I couldn’t even have thought about doing in high school without having an anxiety attack. I gained friends from this newly discovered confidence. I have never had these many friends in my 18 years of life but let me tell you how good it feels, amazing. I truly am so blessed to be able to have this growth because I was so sick of being an extrovert in my brain and heart but having to be an introvert for the sake of everyone else. I am free to be me and I love it.

Lastly, I have learned so much about God. Learning that life is just a passing through and that everything I am doing here is about glorifying God.  I try hard to do well but I do not beat myself up over a C because life is so much more than right now. I can enjoy these moments and soak it all up but not get caught up in it. I know that in 25 years those falls will just be a memory and that in heaven, my college degree is not coming with me. College is showing me that love is patient and kind ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-7). I see this when it comes to dealing with roommates or just needing patience when it actually comes to relationships. God is teaching me a lot about timing here. God is showing me that a boyfriend or job is not in my cards right now and I am surprisingly okay with that. God is showing me that is okay to care for yourself but to not forget about helping others. He is truly working through me and this campus.

This may only be my first semester here in West Haven CT but I have a plethora of new ideas and perspectives already. I am growing and maturing and becoming a human that this world needs. I am enjoying every single second here and I can not wait to see what the following semesters have to offer me. – Lexuniversity_of_new_haven_seal

 

G.A.D

Do you know what those letters stand for? They stand for  “Generalized Anxiety Disorder.”  The textbook definition is “Severe, ongoing anxiety that interferes with daily activities (Mayo Clinic).” Before we get more in depth, what exactly is just “anxiety”? Well, Anxiety is A mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one’s daily activities (Mayo Clinic). This disorder is studied by psychologist and proven to be a disorder. The symptoms include

  • Pain areas: in the back
  • Whole body: fatigue, lightheadedness, restlessness, or sweating
  • Psychological: severe anxiety, fear, or repeatedly going over thoughts
  • Behavioral: hyper-vigilance or irritability
  • Cognitive: lack of concentration or unwanted thoughts
  • Also common: emotional distress, excessive worry, difficulty falling asleep, headache, nausea, sensation of an abnormal heartbeat, or trembling
Some may be asking why I am writing about this and it’s simply because I, unfortunately, suffer from it. Every minuet of everyday I am suffering.  This mental illness is not something people can always see or witness so they can easily write it off as not existing. Iv been told its “all in your head”. . . and yes it is. That’s exactly the problem. I can’t get a new brain or nervous system. I have what God gave me and I have to push through it every single day and it is not easy at all. I have anxiety attacks in my sleep, I get overwhelmed by the simplest stuff, I can’t enjoy things like everyone else because my brain always goes to worse case scenario. Having to turn down birthday parties and team bonding events because social anxiety gets in the way. Having to hide in the bathroom at work and cry and hyperventilate for 3o minuets because I can’t handle the atmosphere. Even presenting in class seems like torture. I am hardly ever at peace with myself. Constant nail biting, hair twirling, readjusting, making sure I look okay because God Forbid someone says something about the way I look.  I can be having a great day until someone doesn’t open a text message and my brain immediately tells me that person doesn’t like.. that I am not good enough.. that Im worthless. Anxiety is not just nervousness. It is so much more. It’s crying, trouble breathing, stomach pains, shaking, and begging God to take this disorder away from me.
I know that there are going to be ignorant people in this world who do not understand and refuse to believe this disorder is real but let me tell you it is. Please do the world a favor if you do not have a psych degree or suffer from mental health issues… watch what you say. It is hurtful and makes us anxiety people, feel beneath you. I want nothing more than to live in a world where my anxiety is considered a valid excuse to not show up for work or school. I want treatment to not be seen like it is only meant for “crazy” people. Mental disorders are very very real and just because we can’t see them does not mean we can brush them off. Anxiety Disorder is something that I ask all of you to take the time and research and educate yourselves on.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and be understanding. I hope by that opening myself up to people, we can learn something or two about mental illness and take a stance together to end the stigma. Lots of love – Lex.

Saturdays

It has been about a month and some days since I’ve been a disciple and a college student. Doing what college kids do, the studying (Bible and for tests), the sharing, ( The Word and homework help), and the participating (Church and . . . wait). Participating is where I hit my wall. How am I , an 18 year old college student , not participating ? I struggle with participating in college life while still holding to my Christian morals. Can I sit in a room with a ton of girls who are gossiping? Can I go out on the weekends but not drink? Can I be the “typical” college student while still being a Disciple.  No. The simple answer is that I can’t because I’m not “typical” I’m a child of God but this does not mean I need to be tucked into bed at 6 pm on a Saturday night either. God wants us to enjoy life and rejoice in it but just not in those stereotypical college ways. I can be so easy (too easy) to fall into the trap of “It’s college, this is what you are supposed to be doing” mindset.

I use Saturday because Saturday is my worst day. The day I sit in my misery of loneliness and fear. Saturday is the night everyone goes out and embodies college. Me? I’m in my dorm room questioning why as a Christian I have to miss out, which is so dangerous. In the Bible, Saturday holds a significance too. Jesus died on Friday and rose on Sunday but what was everyone doing on Saturday? You guessed it.. waiting. Just waiting and questioning and praying and struggling, some more than others. Those Disciples had the same struggles that I do. That is something I find comforting and humbling.

My Church ministry does a phenomenal job of keeping us occupied a majority of the time, keeping us away from the temptations of college life but Saturday is up to me, so with that being said I need to make a promise to myself and God to utilize Saturday for something better. Use my alone time to pray, to connect with my fellow brothers and sisters, and to just reflect on the other activities I could be doing that do not involve temptations (board games, Disney movie marathon, catching up on homework). So, starting this Saturday, I am choosing to flourish in Saturday and to no longer sulk in the fear and doubts that Satan throughs at me. – AC

SAVING GRACE

Well, I know it has been a long while since I have posted but today.. Today is my spiritual birth.. I was BAPTIZED. I never thought this day would come, I am now a child of God, his best friend, and his daughter. I have been studying the bible since May and now at the end of August, at my last service before college, I become baptized into a love I will never comprehend. Jesus is Lord of my life, my time, my money, my school work, my family, my relationships.  I can not wait to share this new journey with you guys! These gifts of the Holy Spirit are already working!! I am so grateful and full of love. Thank You Jesus for these glorious days and the not so glorious! I love you unconditionally as you love me.